How to cope when a difficult client causes anxiety

New Zealand’s first Chinese hypnotist and professional member of the American Board of Hypnotherapy, Haiming Jiang, shares strategies on how to overcome work-related anxiety and go on to achieve better business results.

Most commonly, the underlying reason for insomnia is your inner anxiousness. If you limit anxiety, the issue of insomnia will be resolved.

Anxiety is the dread that something negative will occur.

If your income reduces or you are let go from your job, this will indirectly impact your sense of security. Ultimately, the things that make you uneasy will affect your safety.

For your subconscious mind, anxiety concerns are life-threatening and must be addressed immediately. This is more vital than sleep. Therefore, to overcome the problem of insomnia, you must inform your subconscious that you are now safe. Then sleep can proceed smoothly when your subconscious is no longer required to deal with your anxiety.

How can we decrease anxiety and address the issue of insomnia?

First, you should ask yourself, “What am I thinking when trying to get to sleep?”

You might feel anxious about an exam, losing your job, or that your friends don’t like you. These are certainly valid issues. In addition, there is an unexplainable worry. Sometimes I ask students with insomnia what they think about while trying to fall asleep. One stated that he had a vacant mind and did not think about anything. In actuality, it is not that you do not think but ignore what you think.

Before you can tackle the issue of insomnia, you should pay attention to what your mind is thinking. The only time the brain ceases to think is during sleep. Your ideas generate your anxiousness so the uneasiness will go away when you refute the thought that causes your concern.

For instance, you are anxious and fearful about tomorrow’s meeting because the client is tough to work with. You lose sleep. If you wish to modify your attitude towards this client, it may be tough to do so because he is so difficult to work with. You should not outright refute the notion that the client is tough to deal with but instead indirectly refute the notion. What should you do?

If you pay close attention to your thoughts, you may discover that you initially believe this client to be quite tough to engage. You fear communication will be tough and the other party may be discontent. Next, you may worry that if the client is unsatisfied, they will complain to the firm, and if the boss is dissatisfied with you, they may fire you. You may worry about not finding a job, loss of income, and eventually becoming homeless.

To deny your idea is to deny one notion after another, not only the initial thought. And we should begin to deny the previous thought so we can dispute the initial idea. Discovering a cause to persuade yourself that these notions are incorrect would be best.

You will be homeless. No!

If you switch jobs, would your income decrease? Certainly not!

If a better job is awaiting you, will you continue to care about this one?

If you do not care about the job, you need not be as concerned with the client’s response. You will not be concerned if you do not care about the client’s opinion.

You must take work seriously, even if you do not care about the client’s opinion. You can disregard their reaction but must perform your duties competently. When you are not concerned about whether the client is satisfied, you can focus on what you should perform well. Then, you won’t be concerned about seeing the client tomorrow and won’t lose sleep over it.

Your autonomic nervous system secretes a specific amount of anxiety hormones when you fear that something negative will occur. When anxiety is shut down, the autonomic nervous system ceases to produce anxiety inducing chemicals. Therefore, you can regulate the hormones your body secretes by managing your thoughts. It would help if you constructed your own justification for rejecting these poor ideas. Everyone has a certain number of concerns. Obviously, I cannot provide detailed advice on how to reject your ideas in this context. In reality, when providing one-on-one psychological counselling, I direct student’s thinking and assist them in refuting their first assumptions.

To alleviate unexplained worry, you must enhance your general sense of safety. When you feel cheerful, you will undoubtedly feel safe. You can ascertain your sense of safety by evaluating the concentration of pleasure chemicals in your bloodstream. You will feel more secure if you have more happiness inducing hormones than ones that bring about anxiety.

Long-term insomnia sufferers essentially have unexplainable anxiety.

These concerns stem from past growth experiences and have accumulated through time. They typically have a conditioned apprehensive reflex. For instance, some individuals became irritated when they see rain, and others become terrified when they hear a dog barking. All of them are learned reflexes. Generally, conditioned reflexes cannot be controlled.

However, the conditioned reaction can also be partially regulated. The way of control is to ensure the body has sufficient levels of positive hormones.

Clients frequently tell me: ‘when I’m in good form, I don’t care if something like this occurs; nevertheless, when I’m not in good shape, I become nervous.’ This is an example of the same event generating various conditioned reflexes in different states.

Say a man is in a good mood, his wife urges him not to throw his clothing around. He accepts her point of view and adheres to what she says. But if he is in a foul mood on this day, he may have a heated argument with her. Why is the identical situation accepted quietly when you’re in a good mood but not so when in a bad mood? Because different moods will cause you to have different conditioned responses.

If you wish to control your poor reflexes, you must modify your condition or emotions. If you want to influence your mood, you should increase the production of hormones that invoke happiness and decrease the production of hormones which bring about anxiety. The solution is to think more about positive things during mundane moments. Give your body more time to manufacture feel-good chemicals. You’ll experience a rise in happy hormones and a greater sense of security.

Your emotions will influence your thoughts, which in turn will influence your emotions. In general, your emotions determine your thought processes.

Currently, I am teaching you the exact opposite. It allows you to use your intellect to regulate your emotions. You should consciously be aware of the things that make you happy, engage in activities you enjoy, and allow your body to produce serotonin. Once a poor thought manifests, you should consciously reject it. Then turn your mind to something that makes you feel joyful.

For instance, you’re scheduled to see a client tomorrow that you know will be challenging. You should stop focusing on this unpleasant client and instead consider how to do a respectable job. When you concentrate on problem-solving, you won’t be anxious. Whether the client is satisfied or not, I will perform my duties to the best of my abilities. This approach will keep you from being anxious or losing sleep.

Whether you breathe deeply or wave your hands, the techniques I have taught here eliminate anxiety, can help you calm your thoughts and minimise your worry.

Mainly, you should condition going to bed as a reflex of sleep. The bed is for sleeping, not tossing and turning. You must feel tired before going to bed.

You can relax with easy workouts or other activities. You may only go to bed if you are exhausted and sleepy.

Get up if you can’t sleep.

Self-hypnosis can be practiced while sitting on the sofa. Visualise yourself in bed. Your bed is cozy, peaceful, and comfortable. Imagine there is a calm and soothing energy surrounding the bed. This energy has a tint that appeals to you, and such soothing energy surrounds your bed. This screen of calm energy isolates all of life’s random elements. Then, you inhale deeply and visualise bringing this calming energy into your heart. Continue taking deep breaths until you feel drowsy. You fall asleep the moment you enter your bedroom. This is also a self-hypnosis technique.

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